If Our Love's Insanity, Why Are You My Clarity?
by BaelfireFenix
Summary: A new mystery involving the mines, and a never-before-seen Disney princess, brings Emma and Regina closer together than they've ever been before. Henry struggles with the changes of getting older, and faces darkness within himself that no one sees coming. (slow burn Swan Queen, some portions NSFW)
1. Maybe

Chapter I: Maybe

It was winter in Storybrooke and the town hadn't been this icy since Elsa and the Snow Queen. Henry sat by his grandparents' fireplace, thumbing through the worn story book. He had memorized most of its contents but still loved immersing himself within the adventures that took place in the Enchanted Forest.

He loved to pretend that he'd been a squire, maybe, of his mother's, who was then the Evil Queen. As he watched her suffer through every tragedy between the pages, he'd only wish that he was already there. To comfort her and calm her, to tell her that her happy ending was coming. That if she would just stop hurting everyone, her day would come. He knew that that was not fate, and her path was set in ink. But it was still okay to imagine. He just wanted to be her hero.

"Hey kid, see anything new in there?" his other mom, Emma, picked at him lovingly from her place on the sofa.

She was curled up, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a cup of hot tea in her hands. She had papers strewn about, as she was researching a new mystery that had struck the town and its people. The dwarves had ranted that someone or something had been snooping around the mines, stealing tools, and even mining coal themselves. Whoever it was left sooty footprints that led into the town and around the properties of the townspeople's houses. Some people reported missing jewelry, food, and firewood. Which was pretty precious in this time of winter. They couldn't be a known resident there, because the folks of Storybrooke just don't do that to each other. Plus, they made the dire mistake of barging into Regina's home. Broke a window and everthing. Emma pretended to be annoyed, but she was actually a bit worried. Most of the new folks who stumbled into Storybrooke made a bigger entrance. This was just subtle enough to be almost creepy. But it wasn't that big of a problem compared to what had happened, so this wasn't too urgent of a thing.

"Don't you wanna play Xbox or something, or I don't know, be angsty and slam doors and tell me you hate me?" She reached out to ruffle his dark brown hair. He was growing. At an alarming rate. Turning into an awkward lanky teenager.

Henry laughed and looked up lovingly towards his mother, "Eh, there's already enough drama and monsters popping up around here for me to add to the mix. I'd rather be some kind of help."

"Well you're always a big help, kiddo," Emma smiled.

"I just…I just wish I could do more. Be a hero, you know?"

Emma leaned down and took her son's face in her hands that had been warmed by the hot mug, "But you are, Henry. Where would I be without you? Lost or…or dead. Remember that."

He cracked a slight grin and shook away from her touch.

"Okay. I don't really feel like I am. But okay." Henry reconsidered spending his time there on the floor with that old book that was rarely ever out of his sight. Maybe it'd be okay to leave it alone for a while. Maybe it'd be okay not to open it, think about it. Maybe he would shuffle upstairs to his room, and slam the door accidentally. Maybe he'd just let go for a bit.

So he did.


	2. Mother Daughter Moment

Chapter II: Mother Daughter Moment

Emma looked down at the strewn papers and sighed, honestly wishing that she could have a break from constant investigation. Just for a little while. She missed Hook, and how he could pull her out of her own anxious brain and into some degree of normalcy. But he could be too much sometimes. The way he looked at her like she was his found treasure. That freaked her out. She was on her own path, and sometimes he just made her feel like his ultimate reward. A part of her, that she kept subdued, made her resent him for that and it would always drive a wedge between them. She wanted an equal partner if she was going to have one, and he seemed to want to change _her_ happy ending into his redemption. Right now, she just felt alone and wanted company.

She sighed and stood up from her warm spot on the couch, causing random documents to flutter to the floor near the fireplace where Henry had sat before. As she laced up her boots and slid into her red leather jacket, her mother walked through the front door.

"Hey," she beamed, Snow White's rosy cheeks shined as she acknowledged her obviously frustrated first born, "How's the investigation going?"

Emma groaned, struggling to stuff an arm into the worn leather sleeve, "Uh, it's going? I'm honestly half-assing it. I just want everything to be fine for once around here. You know, grab a grilled cheese from Granny's, come home, do a crossword puzzle or something."

Snow nodded and gave Emma a worried look. She sometimes felt this overwhelming need to just hold Emma, make her rest and put down this slight wall that she always seemed to have in front of her. But she didn't want to invade her boundaries and make an awkward situation. She figured she would never be as close of a mother to her as she'd wished.

"Are you going out? I wouldn't advise going to Granny's right now. All the dwarves are there, rambling about what's been happening. You don't need to hear it. I love them, but I know that they can be a bit much."

Emma smirked and chuckled, "Thanks for the warning, but I'm actually going to check on Regina."

"Oh, really? Do you think she knows more about the recent incidents than she's letting on?" Snow was pulling for information, as with the recent birth of her son Neil she sort of felt out of the loop. Both with town matters and her daughter's personal life.

Emma looked up at her mother with her brow furrowed, "No. I mean, her own place was broken into. She seems just as clueless and annoyed as everyone else. I…I know she's alone right now. Am I right? Was she at Granny's just now?"

"No," Snow replied, picking the baby up out of the stroller to lightly rock him in her arms.

"Figured," Emma said, glancing toward the precious bundle, "So, I thought I'd just give her a visit. Discuss Henry a little and keep her company. I bet it's kind of freaky living in that gigantic home alone with a thief sneaking around. You know, who's not Robin Hood."

Snow didn't really know what to say then. It seemed that every time she and Emma had any time alone with each other, Regina would come up and snag her attention. Those two seemed to be closer with each other than they would ever be, which greatly perplexed Snow. She had such a long and complicated past with Regina that Emma was never a part of. Hell, Regina had been a stepmother to her, an enemy, and a friend. But she and Emma shared the fact that they had nearly unbeatable power, and a son. That was more than enough to outdo everything else. So she stepped aside and let Regina fill a hole that she so desperately wanted a place in.

"Well, be careful. It's cold as a witch's…" Snow began, but Emma had slammed the front door before she could finish her sentence.


	3. Scowling Thing

Chapter III: Scowling Thing

"Emma. What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Henry, or...?" Regina cracked the door as the chilling wind swept over the both of them, standing awkwardly at the threshold of her home.

Emma's teeth chattered as she peered inside. She wondered why Regina didn't just let her in, but wanted to respect her privacy at the same time.

"No, no...he's okay. I just -"

"Well, then is it about the filthy home intruder that you still haven't captured?" Regina raised an eyebrow, still keeping the door only slightly opened.

Emma was now sort of impatient. She shifted her stance and rubbed her arms while shivering, "Sort of. Regina, can I come inside?" She asked with an annoyed forcefulness, which she then regretted. It was just so damn cold out.

Regina hesitated then rolled her eyes and walked away into her home, leaving the door open for Swan. Emma returned the eye roll behind Regina's back and followed her inside. She wondered why Regina was being so guarded right now. Every time she thought that things were square between them, she would just get so moody and distant. But she sort of understood. Emma was pretty good at walls. Actually, damn good at walls. But she was also pretty good at breaking them down.

Emma then saw the set up in Regina's living room. There was a gigantic mirrored cube rotating to and fro on a stand planted in the middle of the room. Each side of the cube revealed different outdoor locations in Storybrooke. One was just outside of Regina's house, the other was the entrance to the mines, another was aimed at Gold's shop, and the last showed the hallway to Emma's parents' apartment. Regina sat on her sofa, looking up at Emma with anticipation for an argument about privacy and whatnot.

Emma just stood there staring for a moment, her mouth slightly open. She took in a breath to speak but was interrupted.

"I know it looks bad, but this is about personal property here. As mayor, it's my duty to know what is going on in this town. Since you haven't made this a priority. Running off with guyliner and shirking your job and everything," she scowled. She was too good at the scowling thing.

"Regina that's not fair. I was just at home looking over some evidence and all I wanted was to come check on you. You rarely get out and actually mingle with your townspeople and the weather probably adds to your ...anti-ness," Emma sputtered, her cheeks beginning to blush in frustration, "Plus, this mirror box thing just solidifies the fact that you'll probably stay cooped up in here as long as you possibly can."

"Anti-ness?" Regina laughed, "Okay, Swan. You make valid points. So what? I don't like the townspeople and I honestly don't think they'll ever like me. No matter how much I change. The only person I truly cared to be around was Robin, and he's not here now, is he?"

Emma walked over to the shifting cube and twirled it with her index finger. The cube spun around on its pedistal, causing the images on each face to blur as it whirled. She sighed and looked down at Regina, understandingly.

"Look, I'm sorry about all of that. But you can't put all of your happiness...you can't pin your happy ending on...you just," Emma stopped. She didn't know what to say. Every ending to each sentence she was about to utter was simply hypocritical. She knew deep down inside what she desired, what would make her happy and ensure her own story book ending. She'd never even let her true wish show. How could she judge someone who was being so vulnerable with theirs.

Regina stood and walked next to Emma and the cube. She stopped the spinning and stared down at the image of the entrance to Swan's parents' apartment. "Um, Emma. I have no idea what you're trying to say. But I appreciate your concern." She placed a hand on Swan's shoulder and her eyes drifted from the cube to the tenseness of Emma's muscles, even through the leather of her jacket.

Emma just kept looking at Regina, and Regina just kept looking at her shoulder. Emma felt a massive wave of awkwardness and sniffled.

"So, what the hell is this thing? It's obviously-"

"Magic," Regina replied.


	4. Static

Chapter IV: Static

"So you have a magical projection solely based on your memory of the areas? Wow," Emma scoffed as she stepped into Regina's kitchen. She began opening random cabinets, looking for coffee mugs.

Regina stared blankly at Emma's rummaging, which would normally unnerve her. With Emma, for some reason she didn't mind. "Well you have to remember, I created this place myself. There's no part of Storybrooke that I don't already know by heart. If anything is misplaced, moved, or fiddled with in any area portrayed on the cube, it will notify me with a-"

Suddenly the cube let out a harsh ringing sound and vibrated on its pedestal. Both Emma and Regina turned their alarmed faces to the cube and ran over to it. Regina gripped the sides and squinted at the square that detected strange movement.

"What is it? Who is it?" Emma asked, squeezing in over the top of Regina's shoulder. Regina sighed and turned her head away from Emma's eager stare.

"It's just Grumpy. He's knocking on your parents' front door right now. Probably looking to chew you out over the mines still being robbed. I despise those tiny -"

"It...it's okay. I know I need to get on top of it. I'm just tired." Emma turned on her heels back towards the kitchen.

Regina turned as well, watching Emma walk away. Emma did look tired. Regina instantly felt sorry that she had berated her about not doing her job as sheriff earlier. Not long ago, she lost Neil. She remembered Emma grieving, but not nearly as much as she probably should have. Emma was so good at compartmentalizing her feelings and locking them away, for no one to see. Regina understood like no one else did. She had ripped out her own heart, to not feel anything, on occasion.

Regina followed Emma into the kitchen, and couldn't help watching the way Emma moved. Her back always straight as a board, her chin up, but with a haggard energy that usually only radiated from the elderly. Emma always perplexed Regina and how she experienced the people around her. Emma was one of the two people in Storybrooke that was a complete mystery to her, as her backstory was not chronologized in the story book.

"I know I'm hard on you, Swan. And I apologize. My harsh criticism is a trait from the old me that is a bit hard to shake," Regina said as she prepared coffee while Emma finally found the mugs.

"I know. I have some old traits I'd like to shake too, honestly." Emma smiled sheepishly. She set down two Victorian-style ceramic cups that were the closest things to mugs that Regina had in her gigantic home. She leaned over the counter and stared down at the floor, her hands bracing herself at the sides of the dark marble.

Regina chuckled and inched closer to Emma, leaning against the counter as well. She had her back to it, her elbows on the counter top as she lounged backwards. The coffee pot bubbled as it brewed.

"You mean those impenetrable walls you've got posted up behind that heroic smile of yours?"

Emma whipped her head around, her blonde curls falling from her shoulder to the center of her back. She furrowed her brow at Regina, whose face was only inches from her own. "You don't know anything about me," Emma nearly whispered.

"Exactly," Regina hissed back. She brought her face even closer to Emma's as they peered into each other's eyes.

The static between them could blow up all of Storybrooke in seconds.


	5. Powerful Hands

Chapter V: Powerful

The tired blonde and the fiery brunette stared at each other for just a moment, long enough to create a surge of powerful tension between the two. Many times they knew to be a certain distance from each other at all times to prevent this from occurring. They complimented each other a bit too well. It was scary. Not only for them, but for everyone in Storybrooke. They pretended not to notice most of the time, but they did. They saw how the townspeople eyed them every time they walked together alone. Every time they worked together on a mission. Every time they raised their voices together. Emma knew she was the Savior, but she also knew that in this town filled with things normally deemed unnatural, both she and Regina were feared the most.

Emma remembered how people reacted to her power. How powerful she truly was. Regina was the only one whose eyes didn't change when she used it. Regina never faltered. In times like that, Regina bore the familial acceptance that Emma craved since the day she realized as a child that no one wanted her.

Emma didn't want anything negative between them, ever. So how did she relieve the tension? She joked,

"Wow, you still have the whole evil hiss thing down. Maybe if I could channel that, the dwarves will get off my case."

Regina's face softened as she realized just how intense she was being. She laughed, as many times it was hard not to give off the "evil" vibe. It was something she worked hard on and something she was embarrassed about, with it being so engrained in every move she made. Emma was the only one who didn't side-eye her. She just rolled with it, and let her slip up sometimes. Emma didn't expect her to be constantly chipper like the rest of this cheesy-ass town. She appreciated it, very much so.

"I could always hold a town meeting and make them all shut their traps," she laughed as she tore away from Emma's side to fill the mugs with steaming coffee.

"Eh, not interested. We need to let them feel like they have some kind of power in this town. Even if it's just the power to …whine," Emma sighed.

Regina turned to give a mug to her but as Emma reached and placed her hands on the sides, her fingers laying over the top of Regina's, she stopped and raised her eyebrows, "Be careful with this cup, Swan. I brought these back with me from the castle."

Emma looked down at their hands, her pale-skinned fingers with gnarled nails that she'd anxiously chewed to nubs over the top of Regina's perfectly manicured and olive-toned ones. She blinked nervously and pulled away with the Victorian-style cup.

"Gotcha," Emma muttered. She lightly blew over the surface of the hot coffee and stood awkwardly in the middle of Regina's spotless kitchen.

"So, what are you interested in?" Regina asked.

Emma snapped her neck up shockingly from having her head down, facing the floor, "Uh, what?"

"You know, in regards to dealing with the townspeople and figuring out what the hell is going on around here?" Regina raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, well, I'm not sure. I just wish Dad wasn't busy with the new baby so he could handle this one," Emma blushed. Her face got incredibly hot for some reason. She sipped from the coffee cup and set it down, thinking maybe she would burst into flames at any moment.

"Well, you can't get rusty, Swan. The Savior has to be at the top of her game at all times," Regina said between sips of coffee. She watched as Emma seemed to struggle in thought. She wished that Emma would just say what she was really thinking. She almost never did, completely.

"What did you …think I meant, Emma?"

Regina took a few steps towards her, "Em-"

Emma whipped around and ran at Regina. She grabbed her by her shoulders, clothed in some expensive designer fabric, and brought her face closer to Regina's than she ever had before.

"You. You are what I'm interested in right now. I don't know why and I don't even…," Emma breathed heavily, "Is this crazy?"

It took everything in Regina not to melt in Emma's grasp. "Yes," she whispered in reply. Regina's cup dropped from her limp hand and shattered on the floor, yet neither one of them moved from this electrical, powerful hold.


End file.
